Why didn't I think of this gift earlier?

One of my favorite blogs on the Teen Vogue website is People Are Talking About blog. Of course, I didn't get to look at it for weeks because I was dealing with the week before finals and then finals. But, I came across this post about a gift idea. With all of the Christmas cards and everything, people need address labels! But what more important than giving the gift that keeps on giving! At Paperwink, they have some very affordable one, not to mention the fact that they are cute! I personally think that this would make a cute wedding gift! And, it would totally save the couple some money and it's a green thing to do. Remember, most people like gifts that are personal, because they know that you are truly thinking about them and what things they like, not something that you bought in bulk that your 50 closest friends would somewhat like.

Ah! I Can't Stand This Girl!

Every once in a while, I enjoy going on Teen Vogue. I get their magazines, but it's nice to see what they have on there, not to mention the fact that most of the magazines are going out of the print business and moving everything online. However, the moment I saw this I screamed.

Let me zoom in for you a little bit, so you can understand what I was not so happy about.

Now, I am sure you are wondering? Why would I not like the fact that sweet Dakota Fanning is on Teen Vogue? Well, Dakota Fanning isn't the sweetest girl in the world; and I'm about to tell you why. About this time, a year ago, my friends and I were at In-N-Out after our school's basketball. Figuring out that the lean blonde was Dakota Fanning, I told one of my friends and secretly was flipping out inside. I thought she was a good actress, and it was cool to see someone that worked with some great actors. Well, there were a bunch of our friends and there wasn't any room at all, except where Dakota and her friends were sitting. We noticed that they were almost done, and we patiently waited for them. I thought, cool, we have seats now. But, right when I went to go and sit down, I noticed that there was ice on my seat, ketchup and pepper all over the tables. I was furious. This girl, who seemed so cordial on interviews on the red carpet, left a mess at In-N-Out. I was pissed. Why would she do this? Granted, I'm sure it could have been her friends as well, but just because you make paychecks that have my zeros that I have in my phone number doesn't mean that everyone is going to pick up after you. Needless to say, I am not a huge Dakota Fanning fan, and anytime I hear or see her, I end up thinking about that night at In-N-Out where her and her friends made such a mess. Don't get me wrong, I am sure she's a great person, and probably picks up after herself, or at least I hope so. But here's the thing, we all have one impression to make on someone before their opinions of us can change, and on that night, my opinion of Fanning changed.

Joe Jonas? Is that you?

I never really understood why some of my friends would be interested in Joe Jonas. I do have to admit, the guy has got talent. He's in one of the biggest boy bands ever, (well, I guess now that Kevin is married it's more of a man band) has his own show with his brothers on the Disney Channel; this boy has got it made. I can see why of my friends think he's cute, granted, he probably has traveled more in my life than I ever will. But, there's something to question when the boy enjoys wearing tight jeans all the time, and straightens his hair more than I do. My oh my, Joe Jonas, how much you have grown up. I do have to admit, this boy has grown up, and oh boy, do I like the change. Apparently, this boy wants to act, what a surprise... another Disney star that wants to make it big... didn't see that coming at all. Needless to say, I like this change Joe. Keep it up.

finals. finals. finals. finals.

You think after being in high school, I would learn to not procrastinate, especially when it comes to final papers and finals. WRONG. It's Saturday night, I should be out with friends, or seeing a movie, or just relaxing in front of the TV with a good chick flick and hot chocolate while it's a rainy day. Well, I'm definitely not doing that. I have two finals on Monday and on Tuesday I have 15 page paper, a take home exam, and supplemental assignment, and visual test to study. KILL ME NOW. Needless to say, expect a blog entry either Thursday night or Friday afternoon. Now, the biggest trick to say off of this bad boy:

Why is it that it Facebook seems so appealing than studying? I guess we'll never know. Well, back to studying. If I don't post anything by the end of this week, call my cell. Finals are going to kick my butt, I wish it was the one doing the kicking. Oh well, that's my fault, 17 units and I should have never signed up for a Cinema Honors course with that many units. Live and learn.

It's Good To Be In LA...

One of the reasons that I love this city or cities near by it, is that there are so many things that this city has to offer. I'm sure you are thinking why the heck and I talking about the city when I have a picture of a gingerbread cookie. Well, you are about to find out. In Santa Ana, at the Discovery Science Center, there is an event about The Science of Gingerbread! How ridiculously cool! I feel like sometimes as students we think that the only time that we can learn is when we are sitting down and a teacher is dictating what to write on our papers, so then we'll eventually learn. Personally, I think the only time when we really learn is when we want to and through our experiences. Everybody has had at least one gingerbread cookie or made a gingerbread house. So, why not learn about why this yummy dessert has become a Christmas icon and how it's made. I know that there are not many people that read this, but if you have a chance, check this event out. You might even see me there.

Also, in Downtown LA, every year, at Pershing Square Park an ice skating rink is made. This will definitely be on my check list as well. I haven't be ice skating in FOREVER. In fact, I think it was about 12 years ago that I went ice skating. And, what better way to bring in the Christmastime with some ice skating. If you think about it, it's almost like skating at the Rockefeller in Manhattan. And probably, with less people... and it'll be warmer. Although, it was in the 30's today, so maybe not. Check this for more info. If I end up going, you will see pictures, although, I have a feeling more of them will be with my butt on the ice.

Lastly, when I was 7 years old, my mom took me to a high tea in London. It was a great experience. We had tons of tea, and I totally felt like like royalty. Over the years, we have had teas in LA with some of our friends at this cute little tea place. However, some of the nice hotels like the Millennium Biltmore Hotel in LA is having a Christmas Tea. What a great thing to do with some friends and family. There it is $30 per person and $22 for children. Check it out, especially if you have some little girls, it will totally make their day. For more info, check this out.

I Got An Early Christmas Gift

Say hello to my new phone! :) I personally love those buy one get one free things because my dad got a new Blackberry and I got one too (obviously). I don't know what I'm going to do with my old one, I'll probably give it to my mom, but, knowing her she won't know how to work it. The icing on the cake with this whole deal was that my dad ended up giving my friend Ariel his old phone so now she has one! Which is
convenient for me, because I can text her in class whenever instead of going on Facebook or Twitter and doing it.

On another note, school is winding down (thank goodness). I really don't think that I am going to pass my math class! I'm probably going to have to take the class over again. I've decided that I am going to stay at community for another year. I think this would be for the best. After always hearing about my friends experiences with a 4 year college, I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. But, honestly, this school isn't that bad. I mean, I'm not saying that everyone should take this route, but I think it's the best one for me. I'm totally fine with it, and so are my friends. I might even get my own place, which would be really nice! I've got a lot on my plate right now. I have a 13-15 page research paper due, which I haven't started, due next week, an essay on this crazy marriage proposal in Germany, and to study for finals. On top of an insane schedule which includes: Kairos, Christmas Concert, Girls' Night/Ugly Christmas Sweater Party, and probably catching up with some friends since some of them are coming into town this week. Expect another post soon. I found this really cool article on ice skating rinks and I'm determined to go to at least one of them.

Fred Astaire and Studying

Hey all!

So, I would totally write a lot today, but I can't because I have a HUGE exam to study for. I really need to buckle down, although, it's somewhat hard to buckle down when I have two weeks of school left! Speaking of that, I need to start my research paper. I should have never taken the Honors course! Oh well! Expect more tomorrow. Anyways, I've been reading about Fred Astaire and it has been really interesting so far. I have heard so much about him, but I didn't really see much of his work. Only bits and pieces. In fact, I actually did a tap routine to "Puttin' on the Ritz" before my freshman year. Check him out dancing, here. He seems so graceful. I kind of hope if I were to have a boy someday that he would want to be as graceful as him. Astaire seems so together. If you have a chance, check out some of his movies. I know I will.

I'm excited for this weekend. Friday: Jeff comes into town and then I have a Planetarium show that I have to go to for Astronomy class. Saturday: Synod Council, which can be fun, then maybe a night of studying/reading and a movie in our out. And Sunday: church, church, church.

Well, back to studying!

Wow.

Honestly, just when I thought the internet couldn't be anymore interesting, and that Facebook would rule the internet world, this happens.

I do have to say, so far, I'm impressed. When this comes out to everyone, it shall be very interesting to see what happens to other websites. Especially Facebook. Personally, I think Facebook will stay, but don't be surprised if you get more Wave event requests than you do Facebook. To the people that created Wave, congrats. So far, I love it, even though I know very little about it. I can't wait to see what happens when it comes out. It's been interesting to see how over the years the internet has changed our lives. I think this one will be for the better in so many ways. I personally like that you can work on projects from Wave. This will be really handy for a bunch of school projects, and especially when most students today are on the go, but are always carrying their laptops. Another thing that will be interesting to see how Wave works is with Smart Phones, and I'm especially intrigued with what this will do to the Blackberry. Someone told me way back when that Google wants to take over the internet world, well, I wouldn't be surprised if they don't.

The Other Christmas Gift

"Daddy! I want this!" I'm sure every father out there hates those words that come out of his little girl's mouth. I know, sometimes my own dad is a sucker for that. As long as those words don't come with an annoying whine or a frown. I don't know if many know this, but like every person that has a Blackberry, I am Blackberry obsessed person, a Crackberry user, if you will. But, my old Blackberry, is definitely feeling like it's getting old. I'll constantly have to pull out my battery. Let's just say, I think it's time for a new one. I'm purposely not wanting to get a new Blackberry, because I have heard and read several reports that Apple is coming out with an iPhone for Verizon. Which would be AMAZING. The only problem I honestly have is because I am a Mac user, I can't sync up my Blackberry with everything on my MacBook. Which sucks. Especially that one time when I lost all of my contacts. Needless to say, if all of those rumors are true about the iPhone, you can count me in that I will be buying an iPhone, the moment I hear about this. So, if whoever is reading this, if you know my father or mother and they ask if I know what I want for the Holiday, please tell them I plane ticket, hotel room, and money to go to New York with my best friend and then this Blackberry, the Blackberry Curve 8530.

Ahhh! I want to go SO bad!

You have no idea how badly I want to go to New York again! It's slowly driving me insane. The last time I went I was in the 8th grade! It has been five LONG years since I have been to this wonderful city! I could totally see myself living here for a couple of years, having a job and taking the subway. I sometimes consider myself a New Yorker at heart because I still haven't learned how to drive yet. I will though, because I need to. Anyways, this city is amazing. It's so full of life. I feel like in this city you will always learn something new. There's always something to discover. New art, new music, new places to shop, new places to eat, new everything. I guess it was properly named. It is literally a city that never sleeps and I think that's why I love it so much. The last time I went to this wonderful place was when I was in 8th grade because my friend Emily and I were OBSESSED with the musical Wicked. We even got to go backstage and see everything. Which was awesome. I got the bug of loving this city. Thankfully, I got to back a couple of months later for my school's East Coast trip. Now, it's been a while, and Manhattan, I miss you.

Ask me what I want for Christmas... go on, ask. Do you think it has something with New York? Well, I'll tell you. I want to go there for New Year's! I remember as a kid watching the ball drop and seeing crowds of people. In fact, if this happens I intend on following these rules. I want to be one of those crowd members. I want to just spend days with my best friend, Colleen and see museums, art galleries, read books, take the subway, see a Broadway musical (preferably, Bye Bye Birdie, but because I love that show), do some ridiculous tourist-y things, and just take up everything that this wonderful city has to offer. That's all I want for Christmas. Is to spend time with my best friend who has been there for me, who I never see because she's in a cow state in college.

Not much is going on here at home. The Santa Ana Winds have kicked up. Which, most people hate, but I personally love because it truly feels like winter. Right now, I am supposed to be cleaning and finding my cinema book, so I can read, but I personally like blogging, especially about two of my favorite cities! School is boring to be quite honest, I should probably start working on my research paper for my cinema class. I'm excited to research this topic because it's basically about Old Hollywood, which I am fascinated with. Can you tell I want to work in the Entertainment Industry? I am really content at college. I mean, I want to get out of there as soon as possible, but, at the same time, everything seems to be going well. Not to mention that Christmas is coming, which I get so excited about. This weekend is packed with things! On Friday, my friend Jeff is coming into town and I have to see a show for my Astronomy class, which I am excited about. Saturday will be filled with Synod Council and possibly a movie, but most likely research for my paper. Sunday will be church and the Messiah Sing A Long that I am in. Rehearsals have been intimating, thankfully, there are over 50 people, so I won't stick out! Now, to figure out where I can video chat with my best friend, Colleen and homework! Whoever said college was easy, was lying. It's hard maintaining school and a social life!

You've Got To Be Kidding Me...

My new favorite show this year happens to be Glee. This show is so witty. Personally, I love it. It makes the "rejects" in high school have some to understand with. Looking back on high school, which wasn't that long ago, I enjoyed my time there. Yes, there was drama, but what high school doesn't have their respected drama. Glee is so well put together. Personally, I think it's helping schools bringing out the arts which I love. I don't know if anyone knows this, but I went to a grammar school and high school that believed that the arts were important. And, they are. If it wasn't for the arts, I don't think I would have been able to have branch out as much. I found friends who had common interests as me, music. Watch an episode of Glee and you'll be hooked. This show is something for all ages. Trust me, my friend Jeni, Brian, and my mom all gather around the TV and watch this. I dare you to find something that you don't like about this show. Now for my you've got to be kidding part. There's only two episodes of Glee left this season. But when does the new season start, according to sources, Glee will be on a long hiatus. UNTIL APRIL 13, 2010. Bad move FOX. This show is the reason I turn on your station (minus So You Think You Can Dance). Are you really expecting people to be that enamored with Idol? I think not. American Idol is like Vanilla, something that we can always turn on and be amused. But, Glee, Glee on the other hand is that chocolate that we will always enjoy. What we come to week to week to see because we just can't get enough. We want to see what crazy thing Jane Lynch's character, Sue Sylvester or Amber Riley, Mercedes will belt out. You won't get that with Idol, Fox.

Being the Gleek, that I am, I read the blogs. When on one of the fan sites I come across a video where Cory Monetith explains that FOX doesn't allow the Glee kids to sing outside of Glee. Wow Fox! I understand why you do it, but then won't more people watch your show if they know that these people can sing on the spot? I guess not. Cory has done a great job so far with the show. He plays the football player, turned somewhat baby daddy, lead singer of the glee club. I'm sure working with Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison, both seasoned Broadway actors has to be intimidating. But, he has seriously held his own. I'm impressed with him and I can't wait to see what he ends up doing after Glee. I know he's certainly happy with all of the attention that he's been getting. It'll be interesting to see what his next job/project will be.

Another guy that I love on this show is Chris Colfer. He is brilliant. He's that stereotypical gay on TV, but has so many other layers that make him likable to anyone. I am so happy that FOX found him. Something that they actually did right. I guess the one thing that I like is that he's an out of the closet gay. Not to mention, that he likes his character. This show, during one episodes Kurt, comes out to his dad. Personally, I think the more this happens to TV, the easier it will be for more kids to come out to their parents, because it will be easier for parents to "accept" them. However, FOX seems to make Chris keep it on the DL that he's gay. I don't see that as a problem Chris, in fact, I'm happy that you embrace it. Check out this interview with Chris.

Well, I think this is enough Glee for some of you. But, seriously check this show out while you can. I think you'll really enjoy it.

Bad Romance?

My whole life I can remember being told to wear red or anything USC on the day of the USC-UCLA game. I remember hearing how USC was always the better team and that USC was a good school. My dad even used to have box seats to the games. Of course, when I became interested in going to the games, my dad got rid of them. Anyways, the USC-UCLA or Los Angeles Rivalry as the papers call it has always been a big deal. Whoever won would have their respected bragging rights until the next game happened the next year.

But have these rivalries gone to far? I mean look at the Bruin from UCLA, paint all over him. Red and gold. I mean granted, he was protected by a tarp, but still, that's not cool. Talk all the trash talk you want, but don't ruin someone's property. Well, it might have been a facelift, but still! That's not cool. I turned to my dad, a USC fan, and he laughed and said that's the fun of the fun this game. Excuse me?! You've got to be kidding me!

Honestly, I am a USC fan at heart. I will always root USC, but putting paint on The Bruin not cool. This rivalry always is fun though. My best friend Colleen, total UCLA fan. Yet, we're still friends. I guess rivalries are in is on our blood. She went to the biggest rival school's sister school of my high school, if that makes sense. So, we're used to it. However, the rival of my high school has done something maybe worse. I remember hearing way back when the a certain school did some not so nice things to our Virgin Mary statue... seriously? That's not right! They too, are a Catholic school, why would you do that to something that symbolizes your own religion. Needless to say rivalries can bring out the worst in people. Some people aren't even friends with others because of this rivalry. What do I have to say to this? It's a rivalry. It's all fun in games, but don't let it get too far, then it could just be bad.

Michelle Obama... what are you wearing?!

She looks like a Christmas present! Dear Mrs. Obama. I love you! I loved your dress that you wore at the Inaugural Ball and things that you wore during the Obama Campaign. I compared you to Jackie Kennedy, who in my book is the best First Lady (so far) that we have had. But, why oh why, must you wear this?! Your daughters look better than you! The sweater is cute, but that bow on your neck seriously needs to go away!

Now, I'm sure most of you don't know this but Jackie Kennedy was the first First Lady to put the Christmas Tree out in the White House Blue Room, that way people who were getting tours could see the tree.

Here's the full video of Mrs. O getting the tree with the girls. Also, notice one player getting a little to excited with the music... I betcha he's regretting playing that note now, since it's on YouTube...

I didn't know about this until today, that there's actually a contest for the tree that is put in the White House. If you would like to read more, check this out.

Happy Thanksgiving! :)

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all (whoever you are) have a wonderful day filled with family, food, and friends.

I love love love this holiday! When I was little I would go up to my grandpa's house in Visalia, California and spend time with my mom's side of the family. My grandpa, being a true Italian man, my grandpa had every person in our family over. Each family of our family had their expected places to work. I don't remember what ours did, I think we made the yams because that's the only thing that I'm good at, but my Aunt Michelle would make amazing pies and my cousins and I would make pie crust cookies. Everyone in the family felt like they were bringing something to the table. Here's a photo of my grandpa and I when I was little gathering some flowers for the table. This is honestly my favorite holiday! It is true about family and friends and the blessings that we have to be in everyone's lives.

Looking back on this holiday always seem to be a little sad. I miss my grandpa terribly. It's been three long years since his death and for some reason, this year I have cried even more than the others. In fact, I cried today thinking about the Thanksgivings up at his beautiful craftsman house made out of redwood. As I get older it made me realize the traditions that I have and what I want to bring to the table when I have a family. I'm sure like every other girl, thinking about having a family during the holidays is normal. I know, like my grandpa, I want a big house with all of my family over from far and wide to come and celebrate being together.

I love my family, even though, at times I want to slap them upside the head and wonder what the hell they are doing. But, in the end, they are your family. They will always be there for you no matter what.

I guess one thing that seems to be different this year is college. I mean, I love college right now, I have some great friends and I love it. However, some of my old friends are home right now. Which is nice, don't get me wrong, but also a little different. I'm so used to all of my friends being home for the holidays and not having to schedule visits, it would just happen. Now, there seems to be a time frame for some of them. I know that there's only a selected amount of time to see them. I just can't call them up next week and see if they want to hang out at Panera and then go see a movie. I love that my friends from high school are home. For some, it's hanging out like old times, and for others, I know that both of us have had good intentions of keeping in touch with each other, but school and life seem to get in the way. Is this what it is going to be like in the real world? Only having selected times where you can see your friends that you have known for years? If so, it's a good thing we're practicing now.

About two months ago, I couldn't wait to see my friends from high school. In fact, I was counting down the days. Now, it's deciding to go to your alma mater's high school game or hang out with friends from college at a concert? Don't get me wrong, I love my high school and all of my friends, but I can't just keep on living my life as if I was in high school. I have to keep building my friendships with the other people that I have in college. There has to be a happy medium between the two. Here's the thing: I know my friends and my relationships with them. I know that I love them very much and I am so thankful to have them in my life. And to be quite honest, it doesn't matter if I met them 14 years ago or 14 minutes ago. All I know is that these people make my life richer.

And that's what Thanksgiving is all about, understanding what you are thankful for. This year I am thankful for all of my friends, family and loved ones. I hope you all have a blessed holiday.

change?

New York City. Manhattan. Everyone should go there at least once in their lifetime. I miss it so much! I would honestly go back there in a heart beat. If I had enough money, I would just leave everything and move here. Only talk to the people that I wanted to. Just tell the people that I want to be in my life where I am and start COMPLETELY over. Don't worry, I still love LA... and for the most part I will probably live here and die here. But apart of me just wants to get away. Just drop off of the whole West Coast and start over. I always wanted a chance to start over. Yes, I somewhat got that in college, but I want a chance to not be attached to girls from high school that act like middle schoolers, or not have any obligations to family. I want to wake up and live my life. I can't do that in LA. Part of me feels clogged up here. I mean, I guess it would be different if I drove, because then I could go out on my own and explore the city that I call home. But part of me, just wants to run away with my cell phone, credit card, some clothes, my camera and my laptop and find a new place. I don't know where this is coming from at all. I'm not one to want to go off and start a new adventure... but I just want a HUGE positive change in my life and I honestly don't think it's anywhere here in LA. I want to go off and work. Honestly, I would much rather be working in an office and not sitting in a classroom. I remember the first time my mom took me to work, I loved it. Maybe, it's just when you work, it doesn't really matter where you come from, just how you get the job done. I guess, it's the same at school, but it's really not. I would like to say it is, but it isn't. If you're from some private school that is known to have rich kids, everyone labels you with that. If you do well or participate in class the nice pretty boy comes and sits next to you and pretends to be interested in what you are saying, when in reality he couldn't careless. I'm so torn with school and wanting to work. I want to get out of the Valley as much as I love it. I want to start completely over. AND, I mean, completely over. I want someone to say my name without saying that I'm friends with so and so. I want someone to hear of my high school and have no idea where it is and could careless. I want to get away... end of story. Now, the questions are where, how and why do I want to go and get there.

I'm excited

Not going to lie, one of my guilty pleasures is Perez Hilton. I know, it's sleazy, but he's so witty! I usually read his website when I get home, just to unwind, or in class if I can't focus. However, there was something that made me quite giddy when I saw what he had posted. For school, my sophomore year, we had to read Fences. I actually liked the book, I think it was because I really enjoyed my teacher as well. Anyways, as I looking at Perez's site I see this. Now, I am usually not a huge fan of movie stars coming to Broadway and doing shows, but, I actually think Denzel will do a good job. Let's hope. I can't wait to see it, I guess I'll just have to come out to New York and check it out.

Gosh, I just want to finish college and get a job in the heart of LA or New York...

Don't Worry! I'm alive!

Hey all!

Not that anyone really reads this anyways, I just wanted to tell you that I am still alive and well! I have huge post coming soon about what I've been up to, and also maybe even a new blog as well! You see soon! Right now, I have to papers that need to be done before 6pm and it's 3:30 right now! I have tomorrow off and I've purposely set aside sometime to make sure that I will blog! I hope all is well with you!

Love always,
Courtney

Hello College!

So, I know that it has been FOREVER since I have posted. I know, college has slowly taken over my life, especially because I'm carrying 17 units! BIG MISTAKE! But, that shouldn't matter, especially when I promised myself that I would blog everyday.

COLLEGE. It's that one thing that all ex-high school seniors look forward to. I know I was. I had high expectations, I always do. I thought that I would make friends instantly, and maybe even find a cute guy to like that would maybe turn into something more. Man, was I wrong. Not going to lie, my first couple weeks at Valley were terrible. I found myself crying every night wishing to go back to ND. Which, was something I definitely did not want to admit. Everything at ND was easier. See, the thing is I came from a middle school where half of my 8th grade class went on to ND, so, basically all of my friends were already at the school that I was at. I didn't have to worry about making new friends because I was the only one from my school. Valley was completely different. My closest friends had left to go to colleges out of state or far away from home. I was all alone. Yes, there were some people from ND that were going to Valley, but it wasn't the same. They had their interests and I had mine. So, for the first time in my life, I knew absolutely no one. Thankfully, now, I have some amazing friends that are there for me all the time.

I'm 19 now! I guess, I need to change my headline now, because I'm not 18, but I am still learning. Looking back on it, I expected my 18th birthday to be something great and amazing. I wanted it to be a chance for me to be with all of my friends and celebrate my friendships. And honestly, that's the way I look at birthdays, I don't see them as something to celebrate me and how I have affected people, I see it as something that celebrates the people that you have in your life, because we all know that we definitely don't want to not touch someone's life. My 19th birthday was great. Before dinner, I went to church to go to handbell rehearsal were I saw all of my church friends, which was really nice. These girls are all practically family, so to celebrate with them at rehearsal was great. I had a wonderful birthday dinner with friends and family at this new restaurant that I fell in love with after rehearsal. Then, my friends and I met up to go bowling, which ended up not happening, so we went back home and had Yummy Cupcakes.

Now, I'm really just enjoying school. The next thing on my list of things to do is finally get my permit again so I can get my driver's license. Then, I will finally feel like an actual adult, assuming my parents let me have one of their cars... In fact, one of the reasons I want it is because I am so sick and tired of my mom driving me around. And, I know that this is going to sound bad, but I am sick and tired of my mom. I honestly don't know why. It just seems that everything for the most part that she says and does is just plain annoying. It actually hurts me that our relationship is breaking, but I feel like she's not doing anything to change it. I think she still sees me as a 5 year old, or wants to at least. However, my relationship with my dad is amazing. He basically trusts me with anything and I know that he always has my back. I guess that's probably the biggest thing that bugs me with my mom, that she doesn't let me fall or mess up, she wants to help me along the way. My dad on the other hand, will let me do what I need to do, and if I need help, he knows that I will ask. I'm sure as a mom it's hard to let your only daughter grow, but the thing is, every single time she tries to pull me in, she ends up making me want to push away. Anyways, enough about my mom.

Overall, everything has been good. This weekend, I'm headed out for Texas for my 2nd cousin's wedding. I'm probably going to bring the laptop, so expect some posts! I'm hoping to connect up with my friend Cassie as well, who goes to school out in Austin, so we will see!

Thanks for reading this, whoever you are. :)

Hello Summer -- Time for a Change

First off, I would just like everyone to know whoever reads this that I finally graduated high school! WHOHOO! Haha. 

I finally saw Never Been Kissed... and it was a wonderful movie.  It made me look back on the time when I was in high school (not that it wasn't that long ago).  High school is different than any other time in your life, at least that's what my mom would always tell me.  And, well, to be quite honest it has.  My time at Notre Dame was one of the best and worst experiences of my life.  I guess you could say it was a unique one.  I have found some friends for a lifetime (or at least I think so) and people who I thought were my friends that ended up not wanting any part of me after we threw our graduation caps.  High school is one of those times when you strive to be something.  This something can be anything.  For some, it can be not being the nerd that you were in middle school and trying out for the football team and recreating yourself.  For others it's a chance to strengthen your passions that you had in middle school.  But, cliques take over.  Cliques will always happen.  It doesn't end in high school. BUT, if we realize the cliques that we are in they can change.  See, the problem is, well at least for me, is that people worry way too much about what people think of them.  I know, it's easier said than done that we shouldn't worry about what people think about us. BUT HERE'S THE THING: PEOPLE DO WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THEM. There's a reason why the Entertainment is the reason it is, the reason why media has changed so much than it used to.  True friends are really hard to find.  I remember at one point thinking to myself, "I'll find my bridesmaids in high school and find my husband in college."  Well, you know what, I did find some of my bridesmaids in high school... but at the same time, those will change.  Four years ago even months ago if you were to ask me who my 5 best friends or my good friends they would have changed.  There are friends that you think will be your friends for life. But, you just have to take friendship day by day.  Don't think about how a friend can benefit you or how they make you look.  Like a person for who they are and how they treat you: not what social status they can give you.  To be quite honest, I've realized this mentality now.  I was so caught up in how I was perceived by other people I let some of my BEST friends go unnoticed.  So, for anyone who I was friends with or acquaintances with and I hurt you for some reason, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was caught up in my life that I didn't notice you as much as I had hoped.  I'm sorry if I ever used you to get ahead. I'm sorry.  My dad always tells me that there are two words that I use too often.  The first one is friend.  Think today we have gotten so caught up in what a friend means that what it really means is an acquaintance.  The problem is that we look for friends with benefits... and no, I don't mean the sexual kind, I mean we look for people that we can say, "oh yeah, I know them, there one of my friends". But the thing is, they aren't your friend, they are someone that you know and someone that you may have had a heart to heart with.  I know I'm guilty of this. I really am I.  I have said that a bunch of times. But, from now on, I'm going to look at friendship differently and I hope you will too.   

it's been a while...

well, one more week.  this is my final real week of school and then finals.  i seriously cannot believe how close it has been. what happened? i'm really ready to move on.  i have gone to school with some people since i was 5 years old... 13 years with some of them has been enough.  i am honestly really sad to be leaving high school, but another part of me is ready to start a new chapter in my life.  things have been interesting with some of my friends, and to be quite honest i'm ready to leave because i want to see which people honestly cared for their friendship that they had with me.  i know that i will be keeping in contact with some of my friends, but maybe not all of them.  looking back on my time in high school so much has gone on.  i lost friends, lost family members and dealt with some pretty petty things.  however, all of these things made me who i am today and for the most part i wouldn't go back and change it for the world.  i realized what i valued in my friendships and what i looked for in friends.  right now, i was so upset with the fact that what i was doing on a saturday night wasn't what everyone else was doing... i know that i wasn't invited to all of the "cool" parties because of what i value, and as much as i was hurt and torn, i know at the same time i probably would have had a miserable time.  i know that i have been the best that i can be to my friends and if they don't value that, then i guess i shouldn't really call them a friend.  but do we honestly know what a friend is? i think that term has been taken out of context so much.  according to webster's dictionary here is what friend means: "one attached to another by affection or esteem." as much as i enjoy reflecting on a question, i hope that we really think of people that we consider to be attached with affection or esteem. i know who i value with that; but do you? think about that term next time when you are referring to someone, do you really consider them to be attached to you with affection or esteem? 

update... pondering about things.

i haven't updated in a while and i feel like i should. haha. well, not much has been going on in my life, just school, school, and oh, wait more school.  is it weird that i am ready to leave and move onto a new chapter of my life. i feel more grown up now, but, i feel like high school is pushing me back. who knows. 

this week honestly, has been a boring week.  not much has gone on. i've just been going to school and dealing with this stupid ping pong tournament at school. i just don't understand why our ASB teacher tells me to do my job when there are other people not doing theirs; at least have everyone on the same level. oh well, only several more weeks and i'm out. thank goodness. i don't know what i am doing friday night. i really want to go to the st. francis fair. saturday, i have the fashion show for school... no, i'm not in it. i really look forward to it though. my mom and i always have a wonderful time. 

i think the whole reason that i'm done with school is because i want all of the fun things to happen. for example, prom, grad night and everything else. i'm just done. yes, the senioritis epidemic has reached me. 

oh, and the last thing i wanted to comment on. so, one of my friends' friend (well, actually they are no longer friends) posted a video about her. really? has that what this world has come down to? why can't you just confront somebody? because, seriously, you are just going to make you and your situation a more public one and you're going to end up feeling like the victim even more.  i do think too, that my friend shouldn't have posted the link. she should have just dealt with that on her own. but, whatever it's not my problem. 

i just wonder; is this what social media has come to today, dealing with our issues online? 

just something to ponder about... and i don't mean to hash on those two people. i just think it's interesting. 

"you're bold."

hahha. that's what one of my friends told me after I told her the fact that I would be writing my research paper in one night. well, I guess I am. :)  and honestly, I don't mind. I have 3 pages done right now, and at 7 o'clock I'm starting back up.  Yes, it may be a long night, but, when talking to some friends in college they have told me that they usually have to whip up at least 8 pages for some class. so, why not get the experience now? haha. at first, I felt somewhat overwhelmed, but, now, it's not too bad.  The trick, manipulate your quotes.  If you have good quotes and you're good and making them work... you're basically good to go.  Thank goodness for journalism. Honesty, I probably wouldn't be able to work that out if it wasn't for that class.  All right, back to working on this paper.  

church and prom?

I completely forgot that today was Palm Sunday.  Which is funny, because it's my favorite Eastertime (if that's a word and that makes sense) celebration.  I don't know why though... probably because it's the most interactive one, besides Maunday Thursday... but that involves feet, which isn't as fun. Anyways: if I knew it was Palm Sunday, I would have worn something more appropriate, but at the same time, it wasn't my normal jeans and polo that I would wear if I didn't really care on sundays. 

However, I am looking forward to Easter... why you may ask. No, it's not because of the Easter Bunny or chocolates or the excuse to by a new dress. It's because it's CANDE'S SEASON. Now, I I know you are thinking Can-de season? Do you know how to spell Courtney? Well, I do know how to spell, thankyouverymuch. It's C-and-E season.  Which for me, means Christmas and Easter season.  Last year, John Henry and I made up that name because we always found it amusing to that so many people that we had met at church would only come back for Christmas and Easter.  I know, I know, that's terrible, Courtney, and no very Christian of you.  But, we both find this kind of funny.  At the same time, that's the beauty of Christianity, I think because you can get your daily/weekly dose of Jesus anywhere, you just need to keep a lookout for it. 

Today was nice. Some of the people from my church after ended up getting on the discussion of prom. Which, is always a fun and exciting thing to talk about. There were so many different ages there, and it was nice to chime in with my own experiences.   

well, time to work on the research paper that's due two days from now. ekk. :/

before the research paper

honestly, i'm dreading this whole entire writing of this paper.  i haven't read the book that i'm even researching about. which basically means i'm screwed. but, i need to get it done, and i'll have the drive soon, i know it.  more, importantly, i need to sound like i am typing so my dad doesn't think that i'm not working! haha. 

last night i had a lot of fun.  i went out with my friends to this little place called Lulu's Beehive, i have been there before with my friend Jamie, but this was a more pleasant experience.  i do, however, wish that some of my friends from school would go, because i'm sick of them making fun of us because we are a church group. but, it's the price you pay. 

i did feel like i was the oldest one, which i was, but i started to realize the gap that i was in. the people that are in my youth group haven't even reached the age of 16, but at the same time, they are usually acting like they are.  so, what's a girl to do... when all of your friends seem to depend on other people besides you? maybe, it's just me, and the fact that i just assume that everyone has something to do on a friday night, and i don't even ask them.  who knows. 

just once, i would like to see my friends reach out at school, but i don't do that too, which i used to which is probably why some people think all i can do is talk about myself. maybe that's it, just reach out more to people. crap. why didn't i think about this earlier. that's what we need to do, everyone needs to do, not just me, but everyone... reach out more. 

i also wanted to take the time to say how crappy love really is. seriously, disney makes us think that someday, my prince will come. well, i'm 18, and i'm still waiting for a somewhat-prince to come my way.  i know, i know, you'll tell me, "you're just not looking in the right places." well, someone tell me where to look because apparently i'm freakin' blind.  maybe it's just the fact that we put people up on a pedal-stool. and i don't want to get started on that one. 

i'm going to sponsor one of my friends...

Yes, I know no one really reads this or maybe some of you do... but I wanted to let you all know about this amazing jewelry site! 

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6155129

This is my friend Christyn's jewelry site and I love it! I think anyone who is reading out there should check this site out. 

This is my favorite piece: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21456576

So, check it out. You can also go to: beadup.etsy.com

ahhh

Only about a week until I have to turn in my research paper. Then once that's done, hello end of senior year! I can't believe this year has gone by so fast! I remember last year, this was the time when I was working on my speech for next year and wondering if I would have a date for prom.  Well, one thing hasn't changed.  

As much as I thought that things were going great with Vinnie and I, we both stopped talking to each other.  I thought this would be the chance where I would actually feel like this would work.  But it hasn't.  Wondering when his prom was, because he never told me I decided to check it out on his school's website. It's this weekend! Ahh. I didn't get invited. Which sucks.  Now, I am really wondering who he's taking and I won't know until Easter.  Honestly, I thought things were better. But, apparently not. 

School hasn't been that bright either.  One of my best friends told me that all I can do is talk about myself.  But, looking back on it, I don't know how she got that idea.  But, I trust her, and I'm trying to change that.  The only thing that seems that to be going well is church.  Everything is perfect.  I'm basically itching for summer to come that way NYG will happen and then the LYO convention which I am totally hoping that I get the member at large position. 

Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom.  

I don't know who I want to go with and I don't know if anyone is going to ask me.  I hate not knowing what's going on.  More importantly, I know I have a dress and shoes. But, no date. Most people worry the other way around. I'm just trying my best to finish this darn research paper and then focus on prom and everything else. 

I gave up facebook for Lent

Honestly, it's been really hard! I never really thought about how much I rely on facebook! Here's an example... 

So, for my good friend Schyler, I bought her a picture frame where you could put 10 photos in it. I thought, this is perfect! I can get them all from facebook! WRONG. Since I gave it up for Lent, I had to go through my photos and find some alternatives around it.  No big, I just asked some of my friends. But it's amazing how much we rely on an internet service.