COLLEGE. It's that one thing that all ex-high school seniors look forward to. I know I was. I had high expectations, I always do. I thought that I would make friends instantly, and maybe even find a cute guy to like that would maybe turn into something more. Man, was I wrong. Not going to lie, my first couple weeks at Valley were terrible. I found myself crying every night wishing to go back to ND. Which, was something I definitely did not want to admit. Everything at ND was easier. See, the thing is I came from a middle school where half of my 8th grade class went on to ND, so, basically all of my friends were already at the school that I was at. I didn't have to worry about making new friends because I was the only one from my school. Valley was completely different. My closest friends had left to go to colleges out of state or far away from home. I was all alone. Yes, there were some people from ND that were going to Valley, but it wasn't the same. They had their interests and I had mine. So, for the first time in my life, I knew absolutely no one. Thankfully, now, I have some amazing friends that are there for me all the time.
I'm 19 now! I guess, I need to change my headline now, because I'm not 18, but I am still learning. Looking back on it, I expected my 18th birthday to be something great and amazing. I wanted it to be a chance for me to be with all of my friends and celebrate my friendships. And honestly, that's the way I look at birthdays, I don't see them as something to celebrate me and how I have affected people, I see it as something that celebrates the people that you have in your life, because we all know that we definitely don't want to not touch someone's life. My 19th birthday was great. Before dinner, I went to church to go to handbell rehearsal were I saw all of my church friends, which was really nice. These girls are all practically family, so to celebrate with them at rehearsal was great. I had a wonderful birthday dinner with friends and family at this new restaurant that I fell in love with after rehearsal. Then, my friends and I met up to go bowling, which ended up not happening, so we went back home and had Yummy Cupcakes.
Now, I'm really just enjoying school. The next thing on my list of things to do is finally get my permit again so I can get my driver's license. Then, I will finally feel like an actual adult, assuming my parents let me have one of their cars... In fact, one of the reasons I want it is because I am so sick and tired of my mom driving me around. And, I know that this is going to sound bad, but I am sick and tired of my mom. I honestly don't know why. It just seems that everything for the most part that she says and does is just plain annoying. It actually hurts me that our relationship is breaking, but I feel like she's not doing anything to change it. I think she still sees me as a 5 year old, or wants to at least. However, my relationship with my dad is amazing. He basically trusts me with anything and I know that he always has my back. I guess that's probably the biggest thing that bugs me with my mom, that she doesn't let me fall or mess up, she wants to help me along the way. My dad on the other hand, will let me do what I need to do, and if I need help, he knows that I will ask. I'm sure as a mom it's hard to let your only daughter grow, but the thing is, every single time she tries to pull me in, she ends up making me want to push away. Anyways, enough about my mom.
Overall, everything has been good. This weekend, I'm headed out for Texas for my 2nd cousin's wedding. I'm probably going to bring the laptop, so expect some posts! I'm hoping to connect up with my friend Cassie as well, who goes to school out in Austin, so we will see!
Thanks for reading this, whoever you are. :)
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