before the research paper

honestly, i'm dreading this whole entire writing of this paper.  i haven't read the book that i'm even researching about. which basically means i'm screwed. but, i need to get it done, and i'll have the drive soon, i know it.  more, importantly, i need to sound like i am typing so my dad doesn't think that i'm not working! haha. 

last night i had a lot of fun.  i went out with my friends to this little place called Lulu's Beehive, i have been there before with my friend Jamie, but this was a more pleasant experience.  i do, however, wish that some of my friends from school would go, because i'm sick of them making fun of us because we are a church group. but, it's the price you pay. 

i did feel like i was the oldest one, which i was, but i started to realize the gap that i was in. the people that are in my youth group haven't even reached the age of 16, but at the same time, they are usually acting like they are.  so, what's a girl to do... when all of your friends seem to depend on other people besides you? maybe, it's just me, and the fact that i just assume that everyone has something to do on a friday night, and i don't even ask them.  who knows. 

just once, i would like to see my friends reach out at school, but i don't do that too, which i used to which is probably why some people think all i can do is talk about myself. maybe that's it, just reach out more to people. crap. why didn't i think about this earlier. that's what we need to do, everyone needs to do, not just me, but everyone... reach out more. 

i also wanted to take the time to say how crappy love really is. seriously, disney makes us think that someday, my prince will come. well, i'm 18, and i'm still waiting for a somewhat-prince to come my way.  i know, i know, you'll tell me, "you're just not looking in the right places." well, someone tell me where to look because apparently i'm freakin' blind.  maybe it's just the fact that we put people up on a pedal-stool. and i don't want to get started on that one.